next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
