he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
