Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
