I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
