you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
