If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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