you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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