Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.

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(770): View more from Georgia

The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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(248): View more from Michigan

I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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(650): View more from California

dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.

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