yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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