i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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