let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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