According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
