I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
