he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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