Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Every concussion has its silver lining
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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