AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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