He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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