This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This is classic penis vs brain.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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