I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A+ Viking dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
