Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize