I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
