I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
