Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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