I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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