Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize