Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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