I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
