whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have fence marks all over my body
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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