I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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