did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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