We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
