Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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