he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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