If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
