VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
