My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
