wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.