Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you