Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
