he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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