so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
