I wish my penis had an off switch
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
