shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
