Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Are we still banned from the library?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
These tits shall not be calmed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
