sorry about calling you the devil all night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
