I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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