One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize