i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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