How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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