Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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