Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
