i don't like sucking hair
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
