Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
