You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
