K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
