only if we run a train.
done.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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