Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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