brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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