Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high

Fav 23 1470 6795
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(402): View more from Nebraska

She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

Fav 17 2151 5833
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(845): View more from New York

you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

Fav 5 3633 1139
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(740): View more from Ohio

Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.

Fav 1 1603 879
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(319): View more from Iowa

Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

Fav 5 2069 772
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"

Fav 6 1242 761
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

Fav 6 1702 781
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(512): View more from Texas

Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections

Fav 4 425 706
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(719): View more from Colorado

Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.

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