Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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