Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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