I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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