The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
