Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low