beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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